I’ve been thinking about Jonah. He gets a lot of flak for running from God and finding himself instead in the stomach of a fish. A pretty miserable consequence for his disobedience, if you ask me. It is easy to assume we would never be so angsty or rebellious. We always meet God with immediate obedience and devotion. Right? lol.
These days, I have a greater understanding and compassion for Jonah. He was scared. I often feel terrified when I think of how great God is and how big His calling in my life is. Talking about unwavering faith in God is one thing, but living it out is where the real testing is. I often feel as Jonah did and have found myself running from God’s calling over my life. But it’s futile, really; If Jonah couldn’t flee from his calling, how could I?
There’s been a pull to deepen my faith and ministering with God for a couple of years now. Formally and informally, it’s become undeniable that I am to love on His people and bring them together. In my insecurity (and unwillingness to give up my dreams and plans for my life), I’ve skirted away from it. I’ve danced around the idea, made excuses, and dipped my toe in it with apprehension and pride. I don’t want the title. I don’t want the responsibility. I don’t want to mess it up. The Bible makes it clear that teachers and those in positions of authority will be held to a higher standard by God. It almost sounds humble to run.
As if to say I am too devoted to God to risk ruining his plans. Too holy to take up that position. Humbly bowing out. But it’s not. It’s disobedience. It’s fear. How arrogant and self-important do I have to be to believe I can disrupt GOD’s plans?
Like Jonah, I’m running from what God has called me to. What’s worse, I know I am being disobedient by running. Maybe you’ve been in that position before. Maybe you are now. The saving grace is God’s faithfulness; He’s continually calling us home to Himself.
This morning, in my continued effort to make it to Tarsish, I went to a cafe ready to work on all my career goals and the many steps of my five-year plan. Headphones in, music blasting, a symphony of laughter across from me interrupts my flow. I look up at a table full of youth pastors. I sat across from A PASTOR’S PRAYER MEETING. In this moment, I am reminded that I serve an intentional God. 12 pastors openly praying for their communities. Praying for each other. Openly declaring their love for the Lord and their trust in Him. I promptly took my headphones out and listened. Their laughter filled every dark corner of the cafe, and their prayers ascended to the ear of their Father. How could I possibly sit here apprehensive and doubting God’s plan when He orchestrated a moment like this?
Whether you walk faithfully to Ninevah or take the scenic route or get swallowed by a fish, the Lord make his commands clear. But he’s not going to force you. His plan will come to fruition with or without our compliance. The hope and the prayer is to be a vessel unto His honour and to have the privilege of being used by the Lord.
So what now? Right now, it seems like all the scary, awkward, intimidating decisions are the ones He’s calling me to make. I get the sense that a lot of us are in that place. No one is coming to force you to serve Him or to do the work He’s called you to. That’s the beautiful thing about serving a gentle God who respects your autonomy: it is always your decision to make.
I’m not saying faith is easy. I’m constantly challenged. What I am saying is it’s worth it. The Lord has a perfect plan for your life. One to strengthen and not to harm you. Might as well see what it could be, right?
Writing to you from inside the fish. Be encouraged, you’re not alone.
Praying for you always,
SF
Salted fig 